it is divine to be decadent...
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and now, a decent update...
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sunday was trully awful. but monday, when i was alone, i really got depressed. pathetic sight, walking on the threadmill and crying. blah! i know the entire day was shit. and perhaps Master was tired at night, or still upset, since He hardly touched me.
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tuesday was there... i learned procrastination = exhaustion. well, well or not, i had to get things done. i had a no-show student, then went by the doctors office to schedule my appointment. came home, worked out, tidied up, set out my performance outfit, remixed the file, then watched a lot of burlesque videos looking for ideas. Created my choreography, then rehearsed.
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i set everything up, went to the doctor, then came home and left to meet Master.
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at the doctors: as soon as i have all the meds (this afternoon), i start a 40 day treatment for my sinus and breathing problems. hopefully, it will work.
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then... performance night. interview, and dancing. i got great rapport, and some nice guys from a tattoo parlor offered my a tattoo... weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
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on the performance:
"White on white translucent black capes
2. Blood - My Chemical Romance (stripping moment)
"Well they encourage all complete cooperation,
Send you roses when they think you need to smile.
I can't control myself because I don't know how,
And they love me for it honestly, I'll be here for a while.
So give them blood, blood, gallons of the stuff!
Give them all that they can drink and it will never be enough.
So give them blood, blood, blood.
Grab a glass because there's going to be a flood!
A celebrated man amongst the gurneys.
They can fix me proper with a bit of luck.
The doctors and the nurses they adore me so,
But it's really quite alarming cause I'm such an awful fuck. (Oh thank you!)
I gave you blood, blood, gallons of the stuff,
I gave you all that you can drink and it has never been enough.
I gave you blood, blood, blood,
I'm the kind of human wreckage that you love."
*3. Always look on the bright side of life - Monty Python (happy moment, i'm a happy undead person)
"Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...
And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...
If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.
And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...
For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.
So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath
Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.
And always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the right side of life...
(Come on guys, cheer up!)
Always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the bright side of life...
(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)
Always look on the bright side of life...
(I mean - what have you got to lose?)
(You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.What have you lost? Nothing!)
Always look on the right side of life..."
*voilá. and people liked it. i liked it too. although i know my message wasn't as clear as i wished for, its still funny, it's still burlesque. and i had to encore, because my friend hadnt seen me dance.
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i repeat this performance tomorrow, and the next friday, at different venues.
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i was thinking yesterday... i have learned so much ever since i started in november. i made the pasties i wore this week, and dancing makes me pursue other things, hear new songs, watch other films, look at things with different eyes. now i only need to resume my dancing lessons, and things will get better and better.
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it does put me down a bit though, that i do it alone. i would love to be a chorus girl, and not the solo dancer. well, i must wait. maybe, just maybe, i am making way for other girls. one can only hope. there are so few burlesque dancers in Brazil... and burlesque is so beautiful.
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yesterday, wednesday, i was really sore, so i didn't work out. after this update i'm changing and going straight to that gym. i need the conditioning for the dancing. i also slept till late yesterday, then ate something for lunch, and prepped class. nothing special, i gave myself a break.
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then i taught class, and waited for Master for us to go out.
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and so we did. and because of my impatient behavior, He called my dumb again. it really hurts, and i think He didnt realize how ease it is to hurt me.
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but we were ok afterwards. He stayed with me till i was fast asleep, then went to spend the night with His daughter.
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...
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early start today. another no-show. guess after carnival it will get better. so now, a proper update, then i go do my chores... i need to.
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argh...
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and i won't work for a week, due to carnival. weeeeeeeeeeeeeee! then i get to help a friend with his sewing project, hence improving my own sewing skills. i would love to.
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enough? good, because there is life away from this screen.
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