Tuesday, October 16, 2007

*banana muffins and life*

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i decided to give them a try because we bought a silicon muffin pan the other day and because there were some bananas begging to be used in the fridge.
...
so...
....
Banana muffins (makes 6 large servings):
- 3 medium very ripe bananas
- 1 egg
- 1/3 cup milk

- 2 tablespoons sugar
- 2 tablespoons brown sugar
- 1 tablespoon cinnamon
- 1 teaspoon nutmeg
- 4 tablespoons flour

- 1 teaspoon baking soda

- 1 pinch salt

- 2 tablespoons chopped brazil nuts (or any other nut)

How to:

Preheat oven to 35o degrees. In a large bowl, mash the bananas with a fork. Mix in egg, milk and sugars. In another bowl, combine the dry ingredients. Add to banana mix. Add chocolate chips if desired. Spoon mix equally into the muffin cups. Bake for about 30 minutes.
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Yum!
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i'm home cutting class. Not only cutting class, but missing my jazz evaluation. i'm just not in the mood to make a fool of myself trying to perform a choreography i know 25% of in front of a group of teachers. No thanks you, maybe next year.
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My nutritionist came by this afternoon. She scolded me for not eating properly, told me i gained lean mass and lost fat and tried my muffins. She liked them. And i even forgot to tell her that these are low-fat and have about 200 kcal unit.
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Ex-compulsive eaters and nutritionists always get along well.
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i cleaned the apartment and did some laundry today. Other than that i taught one class. Lazy day.
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i got a box of chocolates at work for teachers day. A box of chocolate and a day off? Something tells me i should stay in this school!
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i could do my homework for tomorrow now. i could make a batch of chocolate muffins for the Man. Or finish an old dress project.
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but i much rather sit here and read food blogs.
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...
hmmm... what should i make for dinner?
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So, you ask me, its all ok now? Whats with the chipper upbeat tone all of a sudden?
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And why not?
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He wouldn't cuddle last night. But i insisted. i always sleep better in His arms. i was bummed, wondering if He didn't want me close. Then i learned why He didn't want to cuddle... i was turning Him on.
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We had had a long chat yesterday. Which included a lot of things that should have been said a long time ago. And the sex issue came out.
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So He didn't want to do anything. Not if i didn't want to.
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But then it dawned on me. The first thing we had agreed that i would be was His slut. If i can't be that, what can i be?
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And i do enjoy letting Him fuck me most times.
.
So we did it. And i had a couple small orgasms before He was done.
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Sunday was when i reconsidered. i must hand it to Him that He can be incredibly sweet without noticing at times. Sunday i was in the kitchen making a batch of bruschettas and salad for lunch when we had a small storm due to some sympathy to my narrations in this blog. He was upset. And i started crying, as usual.
.
(having eloquent fingers in opposition to lips can be annoying at times)
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As i sobbed over the half-prepped lunch He came back into the kitchen and asked me what was the matter. Between tears i raised the onion i was slicing. He laughed. And it was the sweetest when He said that we should stop fighting and opened His arms to me.
.
That and His trying to control His boner last night.
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This is one of those warm lazy evenings when one eats watermelon and watches something silly.
.
Lazy evenings always make me feel restless.
.

Because lazy evenings are omens of hectic mornings.
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(honestly, i would rather we didn't part. i like the way we are together, our moments, our jokes, the way He know that i will fall asleep half way through the film... all those small things. As long as there is love and caring for each other, i don't know why we should call it off. Sure, there are things that are not good for me. But for some reason, when He holds me in His arms, the whole world disappears and everything is fine. And in my book, that is all that matters. For now. And i really want to make this into something good. So that if it ends, at the end, it will still feel sweet to look at the memories of us)
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Guess i'll get back to that laundry. What more could there be to life than blogging, laundry, banana muffins, old photos of good times, chocolates and poetry?
...
(love)
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Everything tastes better with a little sugar and nutmeg, doesn't it?
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edit:

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9:30 is not a decent time for a human being to get up at.

Specially not when one wakes up feeling worthless, ugly, fat and stupid.

But maybe i just had too much chili last night.

Or maybe its just because all my blood is escaping my body from between my legs.

Or because placebo is not a good choice for first thing you hear in the morning.

i think i need a nice long shower to wash the blues away.

And then some jazz.

Maybe some make-up?

And coffee.

So that would be: jazz, shower, coffee, make-up, tidy things up, corset, eat another muffin. Or not.

i think maybe that damn android used the point of view gun on me. But it really shouldn't work. After all, i'm a woman.

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i want space. i wonder how much a piece of the moon would cost?

i also want a new tattoo. The convention is this weekend. How... appropriate.

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sing what you can't say, right?!

" You're always ahead of the pack,
I drag behind,
You possess every trait that I lack,
By coincidence or by design,
You're the monkey I got on my back,
That tells me to shine,
You're always ahead of the pack,
While I drag behind.."

Drag - Placebo

"
Fall into you, is all I seem to do..
When i hit the bottle, coz I'm afraid to be alone.
Tear us in two, is all it seems to do..

As the anger fades, this house is no longer a home,
Don't give up on the dream, don't give up on the wanting, and everything that's true.
Don't give up on the dream, don't give up on the wanting...

...

Stumble into you, is all i ever do..
My memory's hazy..and I'm afraid to be alone.
Tear us in two, is all it's gonna do..

As the headache fades, this house is no longer a home,
don't give up on the dream, don't give up, ont he wanting,
and everythign that's true.
don't give up on the dream, don't give up on the wanting..

Because I want you too..."

Because I want you - Placebo
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i need chemicals to lift my mood. i just can't do it on my own today. And *hic* caffeine will have to do.
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Damn that pumpkin begging to be carved in the kitchen.
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