Friday, May 25, 2007

*who died and made you Elvis?*

*
it's incredible how dance lessons (even if i suck) can turn a shitty day into a great night. Really.
...
i'm incredibly frustrated with my step-toe-hop and my flash jump. But its ok, i'll get the hang of them.
...
its performance night


...
Master demands coffee and a bruschetta... but brrrrrrr... its sooo cold. Do i really have to get out of bed?
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my toes are starting to feel like the toes of someone who did over 3 hours of dance lessons in a row. (i'll take photos next time).
...
no new photos.
...
my work mate said i have an array of sounds of my own when dancing. With all this bling, its only reasonable to assume so.
...
want to torture a girl? make her grow back her eyebrows to redesign them. It's torture. i really hate my eyebrows right now. But it will be worth while, i hope.
...
ok. After the coffee and bruschetta... i just noticed how random i sound. Whatever. It's fucking cold.
...
so yesterday started off really sucking. i taught class, then i put things into place, and such... then lunch and another class. Have you ever left home with the strong feeling you will die? i did yesterday, but i am still here, so guess my hunch was wrong. But i had this awful feeling...
...
then i bought leg warmers and a new collant and went to class. Plié, demi-plié, grand-plié, that teacher gets carried away and i was supposed to get a half an hour rest between jazz and tap-dancing. Guess what, i didn't.
...
tap-dancing... i was so tired already i couldn't really focus, but i love it nonetheless.
...
and my friend decided to sleep last night so i couldnt go and help him. So it was a night out with my work mates. Really, the best thing about working there are the people. They are great. And it was a ton of fun... plus Gummy Bear juice and a vodka milkshake... and me still in my dance gear.
...
tap-tap-tap down the street...
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i need to rehearse and shower and i got work this afternoon... but its tooooooo cold!!! blah!
...
now a photo. Let me see... one of these sundays at Liberdade....

*
i'm gonna get my step-toe-hop right this weekend.
*
tonight:
CABARET INFERNO SEXTA-FEIRA 25/05
show : Canastra / Vamoz
djs : Focka /Japa Girl /Lady Rocker
erotic show: Suicide Tyler / Sweetie
door : Mareu / Sr. Orgastic
hosstess : Paola Zambianchi
divulgação : Sr. Orgastic
org. : Nono


lista 10.00 de entrada:nono.jive@hotmail.com
na porta : 20.00 de entrada
com flyer : 15.00 de entrada
Rua : Augusta , 501 - 31204140
*
must get my meds today. my head is really hurting. Fucking allergies.
...
"A-plink plink, a-plank plank,
a-plink plank, plink plank
A-plunkin' on the keys
A-riff riff, a-raff raff, a-riff raff, riff raff
A-riffin' out with ease
But when he plays with the bass and guitar
They holler out, "Beat me Daddy, eight to the bar"
...
i crave soup.

WHO DIED AND MADE YOU ELVIS?
...
i still need to shake those demons away.
*
three truths i have learned about show-biz:






very educational.
...
have a great weekend!!! Shabat shalom.
*

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

*despite watching one episode of Chobits after another, the world feels pretty grey right now*

*
attention: read while watching/listening to this AMV:



*
it's called post-glamour depression i guess. or not
...
last night went well. i had a lot of fun, i danced well, i discovered that virgin mary's taste a whole world better with tequila in them
...
weee for my new flask. :P



(these photos are post-performance. And the black top under the pants is actually my jazz body piece)
...
and there was a Samba-Rock singer, and an African dance group. Pretty cool
...
and this girl couldn't get more conceited than she felt last night
...
knowing that the reason i was working last night was cuz it was this guy's birthday and he had specifically requested my performance. After the show he spoke to me and Master, and asked about the odds of me dancing at the party he throws monthly at some other club. Which brought to my attention that well, i already have a "photo book" for modeling, i really need some business cards now.
And of course, the post show compliments also do the ego a little good. :P
hmmm... ego.
Ego shot from a couple sundays ago.
...
jazz class last night was amazing. For some reason (and these misterious good things can happen as much as they want to, i won't mind), the people from the dance school gave me this gigantic discount, so i'll be paying 100R$ less than i would for the full price for Tap dancing, Belly dancing and Jazz lessons. This bird is absurdely happy about it, she has no words to describe how fucking great it feels. Even if it is hard. i love it!
...
i promised to help a friend. He is great. But it will fuck up my health, and it was a stupid thing to do. Well, what won't i do for a friend?
(he says this is the one pose that won't any wrinkles show.)


i promised to spend the night from thursday to friday helping him sew the clothes he has to finish by saturday. He is a fantastic fashion designer and one of the coolest friends i've ever had. Just watching him work is terrifically educational. And if it weren't for him, i wouldnt have a clue about burlesque till this day. It was to his fetish party i went dressed to as a french maid last october. It was at his fetish party in november that he asked me if i wouldnt like to dance. And as he is a Dom, he is also a great friend of my Master.
...
if feels incredible when someone so talented sees talent in you
...
but i know already my body will resent it. The all night sewing thing, i mean
...
its exams time @ work. i love it, i don't have to prep class. i hate it, i have sooooo many things to correct and grade
...
and i am still wearing yesterday's makeup. This eye putti is almost indestructible...
...
i can't believe i still haven't gone to the gym. Ok, ok, i have a half healed tattoo on my back, and etc...
But the real reason is that i feel so fucking burnt out. Yesterday was stressing, but not too much. And it was good. And monday was quite the same. So what is my problem?
...
my body aches. Part cuz of dance lessons, part cuz Master gave it to me a bit too hard last night (or was it this morning?), after we got home from the gig. Really, my poor bum...
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i have a few videos to edit when i am in the mood. Weeee for editing life. And due to the poor weather (damn, its cold) thats all i'll weeeee about today
...
i got out of bed a couple times today. Yeah, yadda yadda about aching body and the cold. But all i did was apply an oral exam at 7 this morning and buy "Pastel" on the way home (no, there is no translation for that although my brother insists it should be called fried dough) for lunch and some veggies at the farmers market on my street... then i watched chobits and slept. A lot. i only got up for a doctors appointment, which made me feel even grumpier. Grumpy for having to take anti-histaminics again, and grumpy because the stupid doctor kept me waiting for 50 minutes for my appointment. That ass!
...
and i have another test to apply in 20 minutes.. Hope Master is nearby by the time it ends. Since that awful episode over a month ago, i never go home at night alone. Ever.
...
i really want to feel better. i really want to start working on my new number. Its all mostly together in my head, so i need to sew the outfit and buy the lingerie and props to finish connecting the pieces.
...
somehow, i think this street art reflects my spirits today.
...
in a word: blah!
*
listening to: Shoo, shoo baby - Andrew Sisters
wearing: high waist jeans, over a baby pink cashemere twin-set.
drinking: cold whole milk.
eating: nothing, the fried pastries (Pastel) made me feel sick-ish.
craving: icecream. With hot fudge on it. That or lemon jell-o.

foolish thing i currently woo for: Tok&Stock's schnauzer line of office accessories. Yeah, i know its foolish.
*
"Narrator: In A.D. 2101, war was beginning.
Captain: What happen ?
Mechanic: Somebody set up us the bomb.
(spoken in the Flash animation as Someone set up us the bomb)
Operator: We get signal.
Captain: What !
Operator: Main screen turn on.
Captain: It's you !!
CATS: How are you gentlemen !!
CATS: All your base are belong to us.
CATS: You are on the way to destruction.
Captain: What you say !!
CATS: You have no chance to survive make your time.
CATS: Ha Ha Ha Ha ....
(spoken in the Flash animation as Ha Ha Ha)
Operator: Captain !! *
Captain: Take off every 'Zig' !!
Captain: You know what you doing.
Captain: Move 'Zig'.
Captain: For great justice. "

*

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

*performance night*


*How they love a jazzy melody!*


*
photo by Queen Morgana.
*
party info:
todas as tercas tem Sarau do Heitor Werneck, no Loveland.

Nesta semana, 22/05 tem:

- Cellia Nascimento e sua banda com um repertorio musical de samba rock a cançoes africanas acompanhada por um bailarino africano

- Performance burlesca e fetichista por Sweetie

- Trilha por Heitor Werneck e Gisa Gabriel
-e a comemoracao do aniversário do JP.

A partir das 20:00 hrs
Rua Pequetita, 205 - Vila Olímpia, ao lado do Lov.E
10.00 reais de entrada São Paulo - SP. (11) 3846 9089/ 3044 1613. Reserve sua mesa.
*
"you've set them wild, But they are pleased;
They're ravin', they're cravin' For your melody! "
*
so...
*
me and my jazz lessons. It will be crazy today. Time for rehearsal.
*
pressplay> Dixie made us Jazz band mad - Eddie Cantor

*

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

rejection. fear of

*
the world is a dangerous place for a sensible heart. It is filled with no's and maybe's. It is packed with rejection and conditionals. It is haunted by if's.
...
ever since my last rejection at SG it has become growingly painful to hang out there. And its a place i actually really like.
...
which comes to prove how little life i actually have.
...
i'm crying again. People should never leave me alone with myself. which comes to prove... there is not a safe place in this world to be. Rejection can lie in bed with you and you may never know.
...
i am making myself sick. Seriously. i have been living off candy, sandwiches, snacks and pickles for about two weeks now. i am feeling weak again, and undernourished.
...
He wouldnt notice even if it were His own body. i miss having someone to look after me. she was...
...
i just feel lonely.

*

*that unusual man*

*
for once i miss my mother's lap.
...
tomorrow i MUST buy blueberry tea. It's a known herbal remedy for PMS. And i can't take this bitchiness and the binge eating for much longer. i could just pull my hair out right now. Plus when one is eating picles with oatmeal and chocolate, something HAS to be wrong. Blergh.
...
i figure there are only two things that make me feel absolutely fantastic. Ok, 3.

- the rush of adrenaline from a new project, specially related to fashion.
- dancing. Anything, anywhere. Just dancing. Who needs wings when one has feet.
- a long loving kiss and a warm embrace.
...
i feel really lonely right now. Master knows how lousy i am feeling. That i am just sad for the sake of being sad, and that i can't help it. i just wish He would realize that even though sad, being by His side makes it not feel so bad.
...
He is just so aloof at times. Like... always... yes, He's so unusual...

...
Luckily, this gal will always have Fred Astaire. And Ginger Rogers.
*
how can emptiness be so fulfilling?

how can a scream be so silent?

how can i break free?

(fuck these hormones)


the silent scream fills my chest. it suffocates me.


i feel deaf.


i am the image of a horrible hollywooodian cliche.

*

this is one of those moments of sheer irony. my name. Really...

...

the sunshine has been limited to my birth register.
(exit this world. enter the next.)

Thursday, May 3, 2007

*a bit of self-taught burlesque*

*
i have a lot to blog about and i should do it before the things escape my mind. It happens, you know... but i just feel overwhelmed by an absurd laziness these days. Must be the mess around me. i need to find myself alone, put on Marilyn Mansons discography and get to scrubbing those floors.
*
but well, i posted these to Sg and havent here... bad bad birdie...
so... my performance went well, and i got a video!



...

not only that, but also i'm editing all the vids i have to upload them to Youtube... as soon as my laziness allows.



*
and well, burlesque photos! Maybe after my class this afternoon i cheer up a bit.


*
damn it, i hate feeling dysthimic. Yes, things are well between Us, He even spoke of my branding... but i feel blue nonetheless. i guess i have to shake these blues away...




*

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

*1 year!*

*
there are a lot of feelings that follow the last post. But i leave those aside for the day. You know those questions we shouldn't ask because we may not like the answer? i just asked Master if He likes having me as a slave. He says yes. So as He is sleeping so sweetly besides me (actually He is soooo cute and gloomy i want to bite Him) i will be a good girl for the day and ignore the monster eating me on the inside.
*
tonight is performance night. Yeah, whatever. If you are in Sao Paulo, come see me shake my burlesque tatas at Loveland, after 9 pm. Sarau do Heitor Werneck, no Loveland, todas as tercas feiras, a partir das 21 hrs. hoje com:
Paulo Gaeta , arqueologo de comedia dell arte
Hillary, com uma perfomance cabarezerrima
Sweetie fazendo seu número burlesco "Lullaby"
e Guilherme Rodio apresentando uma perfomance surpresa baseada na peça Os dois lados da Augusta
Dj Celso Tavares com música de Cabaré e de musicais antigos
Rua Pequetita, 205 - Vila Olímpia. São Paulo – SP. (11) 3846 9089/ 3044 1613. Reserve a sua mesa.

*
so it's been a little over a year i am following our TPE contract. A lot of what is there Master doesn't care for, and we have been quite vanilla lately (maybe that is disturbing me?). Most of the times i feel like only a pet... as the sweet pet i am i made Master some self-made (handmade?) gifts... photoshopped pictures of me.
*
just one or two, ok?




*
i know. It is always my fault. i feel kind of relieved i will not be branded today. But mostly sad about it. Master just keeps quiet when i ask about it, so i guess i shouldn't bring it up anymore.
*
awell, awell, let's be happy and cheerful today, ok?
*
as bad as things get, i love Him madly.
*