Thursday, June 28, 2007

*Up and down and roundabout and out the back*

*
i'm freaking exhausted. Monday was... mondays are always a bitch. And i had a hangover. Don't even get me started on the sunday night episode at Master's cousins wedding. Blah! And to think it made me feel bad about myself all monday.
...
tuesday. Yesterday? Wow, seems like weeks ago. Spent the day out buying fabric and sewing supplies, bought new piercings, taught class, had dance class. Yes, chaos. And i enrolled in the lingerie course, so i start sewing next week.
...
and that phone call. So now i have a double show at Pacha - http://www.pachasp.com.br/pacha.shtml, an electronic music club, on friday. Great... great pay. Huge club. And i get to climb out of a giant wooden cake. And do a fan dance. But... this things freak me out.
...
so today after doing the grocery shopping for the week at the street market and giving myself a gift of something i needed (in this case, a make-up case), i spent two hours in a train, two subways and a bus to get to the club. Yeah, from one suburb to another.
...
the meeting, and the commute, plus my evening class took my day away. My feet are killing me, i am exhausted and i dont feel sleepy. Darn that adrenaline...
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if i don't sleep i will look like this again on friday:

...

and tomorrow will be hardcore again. i NEED to dye my hair, but i guess that will have to wait till sunday. Oh, the drama...
...
Next week i dance at the launch of a new Audi model in Sao Paulo. Yep, le freak c'est chic.
...
because this song has been on my mind all day (and this band + marilyn manson have taken over my mp3 player):
"I've been feeling dull as a coat hanger
Pretty as a picture of a patient on a fresh iv
Giddy as a gangbanger with a set of sutures where his magic johnson ought to be

Yes i'll tell you just the thing you need to be the next big thing
Let's start in with a test of your intelligence
And zest for the counter-productive
Up and down and roundabout and out the back
And keep your mouth shut tight
The lights are staying out but no sweat
I've got aim like a mack truck
Guess how many fingers ok guess how many more i can fit there
Guess right get the toaster but you know, miss, guessing gets you nowhere

I've been baking cakes for the enemy
I've been dying to find out the hard way
Ive been taking friends to the alleyway
Two down now but who's counting anyway?"

(Mandy goes to med school - The Dresden Dolls)





*
mood: expectant exhaustion but actually delighted by having so much to do.
mantra: i will make it through the next two weeks.
living off chocolate and trying not to get myself dehydrated.
and its obscene how much i crave a McChicken with a McSalad right now.
*

Saturday, June 23, 2007

*"Every woman knows all about everything." (Rudyard Kipling)*



*
i want to tattoo "and never be afraid again", on my slashed up left forearm.
*

Friday, June 22, 2007

*the dutch waltz*

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last week my jazz teacher taught us a step called "the dutch waltz". It made me feel as i feel now. Strange and dizzy. And pretty pathetic. Here am i stuck to the computer when i really need to finish putting my clothes back in the closet and putting things in place.
*
speaking of jazz... me and my jazz group, last week, after our presentation at some lame school party...
*

i went to a fashion school nearby today to get the program of their lingerie course. i really want to... but these things always frighten me... oh well, i will just enjoy the weekend for now.
*
after all, He will be back tomorrow...

*
oh well... i better get things done otherwise i won't allow myself to eat and my stomach is hurting already...*
yes, it's just me. Always me. and i get pretty tired of myself, at times.
but thanks Thi, for all the lovely photos, and for being a great friend.
*
its life. And i will shimmy thru it till my garters break... and all that jazz!

*
(on)> You say party, we say Die! - Monster

*

*finders keepers, losers weepers*

*
damn, i hate losing stuff... i am finally putting my s*** away, from the gig on tuesday (yes, i have been VERY lazy), and i just realized i lost one of my favorite tassles (which sucks, because those things come in pairs) and my black capezio nylons, not to mention i totally ruined my pink capezio and the black opera high nylons i was wearing. Yeah, that shit is totally disposable. Argh!
*
oh well, c'est la vie.

(tuesday, at Gloria, photo by my good friend Thiago Marzano.)

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i am sooooooooo lazy. Damn!
*
There is an audition coming up for a musical theatre company, but i am totally raw. Maybe in a couple years from now.
*
He'll be back tomorrow. i miss Him.
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(but i can't say i don't appreciate some ME time every now and then).
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for some reason i'm in a bitchy mood. Oh yes, now i reckon why...


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also i went to sleep late. i was up watching a Noir film with Lucille Ball. Noir is just sooooo funny. No?
*
it's friday. That should be a good thing.
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not?
*
ON> Vampires will never hurt you - My Chemical Romance

Thursday, June 21, 2007

*be here or be gone*

*
Master has been away since monday. Miss Him. But He'll be back on saturday.
...
i've been up to a lot of the same old things. Yeah, i guess things never really change. The levels just get harder.
.
So where is the big boss and the end of the game?
...
i wanna talk of ice-cream and teddy bears
...
for the first time in my life, i think i am too thin. That is wierd. Where have my boobs gone?
...
but it must be cuz all that fat is turning to muscle... Dance classes are a universe more fun than just body-building.
...
although i miss the threadmill.
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i feel lonely. A bit.
...
and i have a brand new dilemma. Go back to college or devote this next semestre to learning the art of making lingerie.

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why cant i have all the hours in the day?
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i am the only person i know who is lazy to eat. Honest.
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i have another doctors appointment today. And my jazz class will be only pilates and streching tonight, so i'll be well lubbed for my tap dancing lesson....i've been such a lazy girl lately....haven't i?
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i want my HEAVEN back. With lots of salsa.
*

listening to: Teri Yakimoto - Guttermouth