Sunday, March 30, 2008

*with eyes the size of the moon*

*
i'm getting cold feet.
.
and i'm constantly on the verge of tears. No, i'm constantly crying.
.
more painful than the pain itself is knowing He takes thinks i'm being a whining bitch and wimp when i am being as strong as i can right now. How long have i been hurting for?
.
these have been the longest weeks in a long time. But at least i could be with a friend yesterday, and it was worth it even if it wasn't everything it could have been. Even if the we couldn't stay, even if...
sweeties
.
i'm hungry.
.
i'm clearly not able to take care of myself these days. And i guess He is too busy to care. He must be tired... that's it.
.
at least He takes the time to buy symbols that show the world i'm His. As His as the box of toy cars and the old video games lying unused in the mess room. Nevertheless, His. And i like rhinestones.
it spells "sexy dog"
.
so i'll pop another pill, brew myself some coffee and call it a day. This should be interesting. i haven't had caffeine in ages. i'll have mine with some frangelico and milk, thank you.
.
i'm so sad it makes my my tummy hurt. My moods are swinging in a dangerous way.
.
note to self: hurting myself does not hurt Him.
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and keep your eyes peeled. The feeling of impending doom has been lingering for a while. i think its about to hit the fan. In a good way, of course. All good things. i deserve them. i do!
i need a puppy. They make me smile. Or i will start attacking people for hugs.
.
Now, now... make justice to my real name and let the good times roll?
.
Bored much?



i really must get up. It's 9 in the afternoon.
.
The orthopedist will be visited on Monday (like my use of the passive voice?). And he will tell me i can go back to dancing. He must!
*

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p.s.: i wish i could just go and see my parents today. i miss my mom's hugs and my dad's pancakes. If i could drive, that would be a well worth 500 km drive.
p.s.2: i love You. Baka!
p.s.3: the pain has actually gotten to the point it hurts even when i don't move. Pass the pain killer, please.
*

*
"i've seen it. It's rubbish."

yeah, i'm quite the anti-social one today.
*

if my heart could sing it would be humming to this rythm:

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